A psychiatrist blogging about her own demons and trying to deal with them sober
Last Saturday my mum realised she’s going to die – soon. We don’t know how soon but soon enough we think. It’s a strange space to be in, this one of anticipatory grief and loss. The knowledge blows around you – sometimes gently reminding you to really appreciate a moment; others catching you with a …
Continue reading “The Heart Failure Diaries (Endings and Beginnings)”
Last weekend I wasn’t in a good mood. I’ve realised that on here I do what I do in real life – when I’m feeling bad I don’t talk to anyone until after the fact so I can present it as a wrapped up dealt with scenario with myself as a far more balanced reasonable …
I’m writing this at the end of the weekend and it’s been a nice weekend with no dips in mood or sense of missing out. Hooray! It’s just C and me at home this week. My daughters have been here on and off the last few months which has been lovely but maybe having some …
I’ve just got back from our annual girls weekend away. This was our 30th trip – 5 of the 11 of us have been every time -we’ve gained and lost some friends over the years. We eat, laugh, dance, sing, walk, play games and usually drink – a lot. Last year I couldn’t have imagined …
After I wrote the last post I went downstairs and immediately picked a fight with C. Not much of one but the change in mood was sudden and marked after all the happy stuff I’d just written. Couldn’t figure out what was going on for a while then I realised. I’d not been completely honest …
‘If it’s not fun sober it’s probably not fun’ I’ve had a busy weekend socially. The night out on Saturday and then dinner at my friend’s on Sunday, both situations I’ve been avoiding since I stopped drinking. I last wrote on Saturday morning when I was dreading going out. I went and I had a …
I’ve been a bit of a social recluse since I stopped drinking. I’ve been on weekends away and holidays, gone for walks in the day or meals with one friend at a time but I’ve avoided gatherings on the whole, avoided drunk people or more specifically drunk friends. I can easily be around alcohol, there’s …
After what has felt like weeks of relentless rain, storms and gales here in the UK as I walked the dogs this morning the sun was shining warming my face through the mostly still bare trees; and I could believe that Spring is just around the corner. The crocuses and daffodils are coming through and …
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